The Lie Clock
A man dies and goes to Heaven. As he stands in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asks, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answers, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," says the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," says the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responds, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved two minutes, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bush's clock?" asks the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."